Well done! By accessing this self-help guide you have taken a brave step forwards.  You are presumably concerned about your online sexual behaviour and want to take positive action to deal with it. You have the power to stop yourself from accessing illegal material and this guide will provide you with information and tools to help you achieve this goal.

 

Can you help us improve the effectiveness of this website?

To keep this website and its self-help resources as effective as possible for its users, we would very much appreciate you taking a short survey. The survey is completely confidential and you will not need to provide any details that may identify you.  It should take about ten minutes to complete.  Take the survey.


Of course making changes in life is never easy.  For example, smokers rarely stop smoking at the first attempt, just as people who are concerned about their weight usually try several different diets.  But people do successfully change their behaviour all the time.  We think there are three initial steps that help people to change their problematic on-line behaviour.  They are:

Step 1  Recognise and accept you have a problem.

Step 2  Recognise that viewing inappropriate material online is harmful both to your own life and the and the lives of others.

Step 3  Develop a plan for change

 

This website aims to help you work through these steps and build a healthier, happier life.

 

In the first step you need to be as honest as you can, if you can identify the areas that apply to you and your sexual behaviour; then you can start to address problem areas.

It is important to be aware that working on these problems can become difficult and distressing, as personal growth and change often can be.                                         

Most of us recognize that change is not an event that suddenly occurs. Rather, it is a process that gradually unfolds over time. As this process begins to unfold, a person's motivation changes.  A popular framework for discussing motivation to change is the Stages of Change Model developed by James Prochaska, Ph.D. and Carlo DiClimente, Ph.D.

In Changing for Good (1994), Prochaska and DiClemente describe the six stages of change:

Identify where you are in the cycle by giving examples in the box.

Stage of Change Characteristics Examples My examples

Pre-contemplation

Not currently considering

change: "Ignorance is

bliss"

Justify the behaviour
“it’s not as bad as…”
“I’m not hurting anyone”.
 
Contemplation

Ambivalent about change:

"Sitting on the fence"

Not considering change within the next month

Thinking of pros and cons of behaviour  
Preparation

Some experience with

change and are trying to

change: "Testing the

waters"

Researching change on-line, finding out where support groups are.  
Action

Practising new behaviour

for 3-6 months

No longer doing harmful behaviour, working through self-help material, attending support groups  
Maintenance

Continued commitment to sustaining new behaviour

Post-6 months to 5 years

Plan for follow-up support

Discuss coping with relapse

Having alternative activities that meet needs

 
Lapse/Relapse

Resumption of old behaviours: "Fall from

grace"

Evaluate trigger for relapse

Reassess motivation and barriers

Plan stronger coping strategies

 

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